Who else feels like their emotions are on a roller coaster?
Well, I do! This pandemic has me feeling all over the place.
I recall almost two months ago, when I was told I would work from home for at least 2 weeks, I had mixed emotions. Happy not to commute every day but overwhelmed at the thought of staying indoors more than usual. I was certainly not expecting the situation to drag over few months.
By now, I have accepted this new “normal”, found my marks, updated my routine, and established new habits:
- moving my body even more throughout the day,
- shopping at the farthest store to get a nice walk out of it,
- extra conscious breathing,
- sitting on my stairs outside as soon as it’s sunny,
- using therapy balls to release tensions from sitting at my desk all day.
Now, another change is on its way. The countries around the world are starting to plan the re-opening of the economy. With this new change comes more unknown and worry, or even fear within me.
Even if working from home has its challenges (no early morning walk to the subway, un-comfy office setup, no real interactions with colleagues…) the cons of commuting to the office everyday hit me, and brought with it a wave of emotions and inner thoughts.
How will people act and re-act in public transports? Will it be even more crowded? What will happen when someone will sneeze or cough? Will everyone be wearing masks or respirators? Will I have to change anything from my pre-pandemic routine to address the potential extra stress from commuting, working full time, training and running a wellness business?
My family was planning to visit me this summer.
I’m relieved they did not get a chance to book their trip in advance because they could have lost money. I’m reassured they were not in the country when the world went on lock-down because they would have had to be quarantined.
While I’m glad their vacation did not happen, this made me re-evaluate my priorities.
I got a sudden apprehension: what if my parents get sick right now? I may be able to fly back home but would have to quarantine myself for 14 days before being able to be with them. That realization brought great fear and anxiety in me. I realized I have been focused on my goals, which involves a certain level of financial awareness, so trips back home have not been the priority.
Rather than giving in to those feelings, I reassessed what does actually matter, what I could live without, and what I would not want to miss out on.
When these emotions lurk again, I remind myself that feelings come and go. I take a few conscious breaths, look at the sky, and focus my awareness on the present moment.
I choose to focus my energy on what I can control, and let go of what I don’t have any control over.
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